Band
Band is the seventieth episode of the series Weebl & Bob. Posted: 25th August, 2004 Summary: The jams decide to form a band to get their message across. Surely this will end in tears?! Also: ow! My throat. Tune: Jammin - Bob Marley, Jam Revolution - Weebl Credits: Weebl and Skoo Transcript {There are 4 Jams together. The one on the far left is addresing the other three, and the one on the far right is facing away from the speaking Jam. There is a poster in the background which, predictably, reads 'OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT!'.} JAM 1: Brother Jams. For too long we have been ignored. {Nobody responds or seems to take any interest.} JAM 1: Ahem! JAM 4: Huh? {Jam 4 slowly turns round to face Jam 1.} JAM 1: Were you listening? JAM 4: Yes. {Jam 4 hesitates for a moment.} JAM 4: No. Sorry. JAM 1: We need a way of getting our message out. JAM 2: Ooh! Ooh! Let's form a band! JAM 1: That's a stupid idea. JAM 2: You got a better one brother? {Jam 1 turns to face the screen and thinks.} JAM 1: Erm. JAM 3: You can be drummer. {Jam 1 turns back to face other 3.} JAM 1: Sweeeeet! Let's do it! JAM 2: Great! 'Cos I already got us a gig for tonight. JAM 1: Tonight?? Quick! There's no time to lose! {4 hours later, the Jams reappear, all bearing Strawberry tattoos with a small banner saying 'Mom' on their labels.} JAM 1: Ok. We got our rock tattoos. {Close-up of tattoo on Jam 1.} JAM 2: Yeah baby! {Return to normal view.} JAM 1: Now what? JAM 3: We need a band name. JAM 2: Jam Bovi! JAM 3: The Jam. JAM 1: That's been done. JAM 4: Duran DuJam! JAM 2: Jambawamba! JAM 1: Stop. JAM 3: MC Jammer. JAM 1: Stop! JAM 4: Hammer time! {From off-screen, a hammer is thrown and smashes Jam 4... killing him.} JAM 1: Who threw that? {Cut by use of blurring to a rather hairy Jam beside a slightly nobbled tin of beans.} HAIRY JAM: Sorry. I was trying to open these beans. JAM 1: {offstage} Use the can opener like everyone else. HAIRY JAM: Ok. {Cut back to the Jams.} JAM 1: Right. Let's practice. {Fade out, then fade in a scene of the Jams practicing. Jam 1 is on drums, Jam 2 is lead singer, Jam 3 is playing the Jammond Organ and Jam 4 is dead. As they practice, a thumping noise becomes apparent.} JAM 2: Stop! {A hammer flies off from the right edge of the screen and smashes Jam 3, killing him.} JAM 1: What the hell are you doing? HAIRY JAM: {off-screen} Washing the car! JAM 2: With a hammer? HAIRY JAM: Well, it's not going to clean itself. JAM 1: Use water like everyone else. HAIRY JAM: K. {Sounds of something scrunching.} JAM 2: What now? {A can opener flies off from the right edge of the screen and hits Jam 2, bounces off who then explodes. Jam 1 turns suddenly to face where Jam 2 was just standing, then the Hairy Jam leans over into the foreground and speaks to the screen. Jam 1 turns to face Hairy Jam.} HAIRY JAM: Sorry, it's a right-handed can opener. JAM 1: Why are using a can opener? HAIRY JAM: I'm filling the car with beans. JAM 1: Why? HAIRY JAM: Well... I opened them earlier, and I thought it was a shame to waste 'em. {Jam 1 slowly turns away from Hairy Jam and stares in disbelief at screen.} HAIRY JAM: This gives the best cleaning results. {Jam 1 turns back to face the Hairy Jam.} JAM 1: Your results are 3 dead jams! HAIRY JAM: But I get results! HAIRY JAM: Also, I might be high. {Banana appears in a cloud of smoke.} BANANA: You are. HAIRY JAM: I am! JAM 1: Clear this up. I've got a gig to drive to. {Jam 1 gets down from the drums and makes his way to the car. Squelching noise indicates a car full of beans.} JAM 1: Eeeew! {He drives off, banner reading 'OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT' at back explodes. Fade out, then fade in with the lone Jam 1 facing the audience all on his own. The viewpoint is at first from behind the audience, then it turns to directly behind him, and finally back from behind the audience.} '''JAM 1:' Overthrow. Overthrow the government. Yeah! 'Coz they smell of poooooo And they don't like... Stuff.... That you do! Yeah! Overthrow. Overthr... {The crowd get angry and microphone starts to whine and cut out.} JAM 1: Overthrow the government. Yeah. Wipe the floor. {The crowd boos Jam 1. Weebl and Bob rise up from the back of the audience.} WEEBL: You stink! BOB: Yes. Of beans and hammers. {Jam 1 looks down resignedly.} JAM 1: Yeah. External links * *